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Preplanning your funeral brings you peace of mind knowing that your final wishes will be followed as you would want and that the financial aspects will be covered. Putting plans in place now means you get to make important choices for yourself, but it is also one of the greatest gifts you can give loved ones. Rather than feeling burdened at the time of death, they can focus on their journey through grief. Our funeral home has a Preplanning Specialist on staff whose job it is to guide individuals and families through the preplanning process. Right now, we are faced with unique circumstances, but the current pandemic does not mean we have stopped providing the valuable service of helping people plan ahead. We have simply become more flexible and creative. If you are interested in putting final arrangements in place, we are happy to do so in a way that meets you at your comfort level. We understand there are many individuals who would prefer to visit about preplanning in person, so we are currently still offering to meet at the funeral home while following social distancing and other Department of Health guidelines. We can also meet with you outdoors. For those who are interested in utilizing technology, we can conduct an entire prearrangement conference by phone and/or video conferencing. Forms can be signed electronically via email, or we can stop by your home to safely obtain the required signatures. Call us at the funeral home if you have questions or if you would like to set up a preplanning meeting you are comfortable with. Keep an eye out for our upcoming preplanning seminars and events, which might be held online. For more information about preplanning, you can also visit our website.

If you have lost a loved one, writing in a journal can be one of the most powerful ways to cope and work toward healing. It encourages you to express and explore the myriad of emotions that accompany grief. Rather than avoiding the reality of the death and extending the grieving process, journaling encourages introspection, which is important in accepting loss and creating a sense of peace. You might not even realize what you are feeling until you sit down to write about it. There are many mental health benefits of journaling, including reducing stress and coping with anxiety or depression. Journaling provides a healthy outlet when emotions feel overwhelming, which can be common while grieving. Practicing gratitude also helps you focus on the positives in life, so writing about what you are grateful for can provide perspective when times might feel shadowed by your grief. One of the best parts about journaling is that there is no right or wrong way to do it, and you never even have to let anyone see your work. Sometimes the words will flow out of you without much thought and other times you might feel a bit stuck. Below is a list of grief journaling prompts you can use for inspiration whenever you need it. Make a list of your favorite things you did with your loved one. Make another list of what you wish you would’ve done. Explain how you are honoring the memory of your loved one in your daily life. Tell about the people you have in your support system. Pick a color that represents how you are feeling today and explain why. Write about the memories of your loved one that seem to be most heavy on your mind. Make a list of what you are grateful for today. Retell the last moments you remember being with your loved one. Write a letter to your loved one about what you have been doing to stay busy lately. Answer these questions to consider how your grief is impacting your activities: What is the hardest time of day for you and why? What is the hardest day of the week for you and why? During which daily activities do you find yourself in the densest fog of grief? During which daily activities do you find your mind wandering away from your grief? What has been your hardest day so far?

Having a service or gathering to remember and honor a life lived is an extremely vital part of the grieving process. It is a chance for loved ones to say goodbye, and it also provides an opportunity for friends, family, coworkers, and community members to offer necessary comfort and reassurance. However, there are currently restrictions on gatherings, and society is encouraged to stay home as much as possible because of the COVID-19 pandemic. As a result, you might need to get a bit more creative in order to express sympathy and offer support to those grieving. This period of uncertainty might also be particularly trying for those who have lost a loved one in the past. If their loved one’s birthday or anniversary of death falls during this time, it might feel additionally lonely and sad due to social distancing and the already overwhelming current conditions. Many of the ideas listed below can be used to show you are thinking of these individuals who are facing difficult days as well. Get Creative with Communication Sending a sympathy card in the mail is currently still a viable option, but there are also many ways to use technology to let the family know you are sorry for their loss and thinking of them even though you cannot be there in person. Send a heartfelt text or set up a time to video conference. When it comes to social media, follow the lead of the family; if they have posted about their loved one’s death already, then it is appropriate to comment with your condolences. There are a couple of ways to offer your sympathies and connect through our funeral home website. As always, you can view tribute videos and use our condolences page to leave a message for the family. In addition, we have created HeartStrings, an option for you to upload a photo and add a note to the family that will be printed and posted in an area for them to see and/or placed in a guest book. You can also view a live stream or recording of the service when available. Specific details regarding these options can be found on the individual’s obituary page. For the message itself, simply expressing your sympathy will be appreciated by the family. But if you knew the deceased individual well, taking the time to share photos and memories is more personal and might help provide the family with a deeper sense of comfort right now. Think of it like giving a virtual hug. Have Flowers or a Meal Delivered Depending on what is available at the time, you might still be able to place an order for flowers to be delivered to the funeral home for the private service or to the family’s residence. Flowers are a beautiful way to show you care and bring a bit of hope to a challenging time. Another related idea is having a meal delivered to the family in the days following the death of their loved one, which can help alleviate stress and provide a bit of simple comfort. During the current pandemic, purchase food to be delivered rather than bringing a homecooked meal. Many restaurants have adopted creative methods to ensure safe practices and limit in-person contact. Just be sure you make arrangements with the family in advance for any delivery option, especially so that proper safety guidelines can be maintained. Also, consider letting them know they don’t need to write you a thank-you. That way they can focus on themselves and their healing. Make a Donation Now more than ever, perhaps one of the most meaningful ways to honor someone who has passed is to make a donation in their name. You could make a contribution to COVID-19 response efforts, but you can also still opt for a personal route such as an organization related to the individual’s interests or a charity they supported. Send the family a message to let them know where you have donated to in memory of their loved one. Visit the Gravesite Gathering restrictions still apply at the burial site, but you could consider visiting the grave on your own. To be safe, refrain from touching the marker or any of the arrangements. Let the family know you were there. They will appreciate knowing that you were thinking of them and that you took the time to pay your respects to their loved one. Follow Up Later Write yourself a note or put a reminder in your phone to connect with those who are grieving again at a later date when the pandemic subsides or once the social distancing guidelines end. It will still be just as important to offer your support at that time. 

Pets have a special way of providing happiness and comfort, and many people consider them beloved members of their family. If you are facing the loss of a pet, know that it is perfectly acceptable to grieve however you need to. It will likely take time to get used to life without your animal companion. Some people might not understand the value or depth of your relationship with your pet, but there are many, many pet owners who do. Seek out support from others who can relate. Losing a pet can be especially challenging for children. They become accustomed to feeling unconditional love from what is often one of their closest friends, so the grief they experience is very real. It is important to be honest but also sensitive about the situation. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and give them plenty of time to heal before rushing to bring home a new pet. Reading a book about losing a pet will also help them understand what has happened and reassure them it is OK to be sad. For children and adults alike, it can be helpful to have some sort of service or memorial, even if that means simply gathering the family together for a few minutes so that each person can choose a photo of the pet to frame. It encourages everyone to remember all of the good times spent with their pet and feel comfort in knowing those memories will always be held close to their hearts. 

Similar to writing an obituary, memorializing a loved one does not mean simply signifying their death. It is an opportunity to recognize, honor, and remember their life. Besides paying tribute to a life lived, memorialization is also incredibly important for those grieving the loss of that life. It can help loved ones come to terms with the loss while also providing a source of peace as they journey through grief. There is certainly no right or wrong way to memorialize a loved one. For some, memorialization comes as an experience, such as recreating favorite vacation memories shared with the one who passed or gathering with family to play their favorite sport. It could be through giving back to others by sponsoring an organization, facilitating an annual memorial charity event, or setting up a scholarship fund in a loved one’s name, for example. A physical reminder of a loved one’s life helps offer comfort and hope when needed most. Making a pillow with one of their shirts, planting their favorite flowers, or framing one of their handwritten recipes are just a few of the possibilities. Some of the options for memorialization using cremated remains include jewelry, glass sculptures, and garden ornaments. But permanent memorialization, which means creating a lasting memorial that will be kept intact for generations, has immense value. Family and friends can gather there to mourn the death and celebrate the life of the individual, now and for years to come. The most common forms of permanent memorials are traditional monuments and markers used in a cemetery. With more people opting for cremation, many cemeteries also feature cremation benches or columbaria. No matter which options you choose, the most important thing is that you memorialize a loved one in some way. Call us or stop in today. We can explain more of the memorialization possibilities available and help you decide what is best for you and your family.

Can you still have a service if you choose cremation? Yes, participating in a service or gathering is actually a vital part of the healing process. Direct cremation, without any type of service or memorialization, may extend the grief process. In no way does choosing cremation limit the possibilities for creating a meaningful, personalized tribute to honor, remember, and celebrate the life lived. Is it possible to have a viewing when choosing cremation? Yes, families can still have a public or private viewing prior to the cremation. Many people choose to have a visitation and funeral with the embalmed body present before it is cremated. Besides providing an opportunity for final goodbyes, a viewing helps loved ones recognize the reality of the death and begin their journey through grief. What are some of the options for cremated remains?  The increasingly creative possibilities for cremated remains are nearly endless. Besides being placed in personalized urns, they can be incorporated into jewelry, set in a garden sculpture, or even suspended in glass. For a more traditional route, cremated remains can be buried in a cemetery, just as a casket would be, or placed in a columbarium there. If the family wishes to scatter the ashes, funeral professionals will often encourage apportionment, which means the cremated remains are divided, so that some can be used for a more permanent memorialization option. This gives loved ones an important physical marker of the individual’s life and legacy, now and for generations to come. Is direct cremation the only option for those with financial constraints? No, there is a wide variety of funeral service options for every budget. Funeral service professionals can help families create a meaningful, individualized tribute at a price they’re comfortable with, even when opting for cremation.

If you have lost a loved one, the holiday season can be an especially challenging time of year. While others are experiencing extra joy and excitement, your feelings of sorrow and loneliness might seem magnified. However, there are a few strategies that can help make the holidays a bit more manageable. Allow Yourself to Feel Trying to ignore or escape your feelings, even with good intentions of not wanting to put a damper on the holiday cheer, will only extend the grieving process. It is important to verbalize those feelings and talk with others about how you are doing. But there are many other forms of expression that will provide an outlet for the swelling emotions this time of year as well. Maybe you find peace when taking a quiet walk in the forest after a snowfall. Maybe writing about your favorite Christmas memories with your loved one makes you smile. Maybe attending a holiday concert with others who are in the same situation helps you feel less isolated. Find what fits for you. Take Care of Yourself We know that grief can take a huge toll on a person—mentally, emotionally, and physically—and the holidays can be taxing even without the added pain of life without your loved one. Be sure you are setting aside extra time this season to focus on your own well-being. Take more breaks and be realistic about your expectations. Participating in the festivities might help create a sense of comfort and hope, but give yourself permission to sit out from a few holiday traditions or celebrations if you feel they will be overwhelming. Find Ways to Honor Your Loved One  For some, finding ways to include the memory of a loved one in holiday activities makes the experience less sorrowful. Whether it’s listening to their favorite Christmas song or baking the kind of cookies you always made together, those reminders of your loved one might make their presence feel more tangible. You could consider starting a new tradition in their honor, giving you something new to look forward to for the years to come. Seeking out an opportunity to give back to others this time of year is also a very special way to pay tribute to your loved one.

Who Should Attend When an individual passes away, family, friends, and coworkers usually attend the funeral to pay their respects. At the same time, it is essential to remember that funerals are not only about the deceased; if you are close with the person’s loved ones, consider being present to offer condolences and show support. Many people wonder whether or not it is appropriate to bring children to a funeral service. While it is important that a child doesn’t feel forced to attend, it is also important for them to have an opportunity to say goodbye and be a part of the tribute. Prepare children ahead of time by talking openly about the situation and what the service might be like. What to Wear The traditional attire for mourning is formal and black. However, families now often prefer that the service or gathering be seen as a celebration of their loved one’s life, so there is not necessarily a typical style anymore. Some families ask that guests dress according to a certain theme such as wearing camouflage for an avid hunter or purple for an enthusiastic Vikings fan. When in doubt, it is still safe to choose subdued colors and dress modestly. What to Say Knowing what to say to someone who is grieving might feel intimidating, but simply let the family know that you are sorry for their loss and that you are thinking of them during this time. If appropriate, introduce yourself and tell the family how you knew the individual who passed. You might consider sharing a favorite memory you have with the person or mentioning what you will miss the most about them. Avoid making any comments that minimize their loss or compare levels of sorrow. Also, don’t bring up the cause of death unless the family speaks freely about it. What to Give  A sympathy card is a great way to share your condolences with the family, especially when your time interacting with them at the funeral or visitation might be very limited. Some people include a gift of money for the family or add a note that a donation was made to an organization in honor of the one who passed. Sending sympathy flowers to the funeral location prior to the service is also a very common option, as is bringing a meal to the family during the days or weeks following the service.